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The Election of 3000 (3000RP)


Zenobiyl
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The year is 3000, and the United States is having another election. Sadly, due to social media making everyone’s embarrassing private lives public there isn’t a single person alive who can run. Luckily the Zucc and Elon 3.0 have devised a solution! Through advanced technology they have learned to resurrect the dead, and are now using this technology to bring back past candidates to run again! 

Rules:

1. Pick anybody from the past, as long as they were a president, Vice President, or major presidential candidate (over 5% in election or primary) of the USA at one point

2. Don’t take this too seriously

3. Political Parties were abolished by Donald Trump the 17th during his second term, so no political parties. This election is non partisan.


Take your picks of past presidents and let’s have an election! Also, feel free to use your imagination to fill in the past 1,000 years. Let’s get some funny stuff.

@Pringles @Zenobiyl @ConservativeElector2 @WVProgressive @Hestia @The Blood @Cal @Sean F Kennedy @Fbarbarossa

Pings for the RP regulars

 

Edited by Zenobiyl
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The Election of 3000 Begins!

The election of 3000 began with numerous revived candidates entering the race, and one still living one.

Dick Cheney was the first to enter the race, and was promptly incapacitated during a hunting accident (18/100) with fellow presidential hopeful George Bush. Bush is currently recovering from his injuries faster (37/100), but both candidates have seen their public support slide. On the bright side, the two are receiving excellent care from a revived Ben Carson and will make a full recovery.

Teddy Roosevelt also announced his candidacy, and launched a tour of speeches across the country. Unfortunately many of these speeches were interrupted by moose attacks (29/100), and Roosevelt has been forced to slow his campaign down to deal with the ensuing chaos. 

Harold Stassen announced not long after, and got a nice reception in his home state of Minnesota. Sadly, this is Stassen’s 73rd run for office now. It was bad enough during his natural lifespan, but robo-Stassen has become even more perennial since. Support is muted across most of the country (33/100).

Robert Kennedy launches his campaign, but is forced to put it on hold when he is assassinated. (34/100). Several old timers in the crowd were reported to have said “Dammit, not again!”, and Kennedy had to spend two weeks off the campaign trail regenerating his human form.

George Clinton tries his best, but reception is just not that great (21/100). Many hecklers shout about his emails, despite Clinton having no idea what an email even is. Still, Arkansas and New York love him for some reason, so that’s nice.

Bernie Sanders’ campaign implodes almost immediately (9/100), mainly due to his supporters believing he doesn’t go far enough. By 3000 Bernie is one of the moderate lefties, and the hot new fad on twitter 2.0 is “Democratic Communism”. Robosocialists also question Bernie’s loyalty to their movement, since Sanders had never received a cybernetic augmentation. Far lefties aren’t happy with Bernie, and most other people aren’t either. At least Bernie has vermont...

George Washington has an explosive campaign (92/100)! As the founder of the country and political icon he was always the clear favorite to win, but with a strong center fielding campaign this lead has become a total rout! Washington sticks to his experience and a message of unity, wisely avoiding the political divides of the day. He also receives the support of the Cyborg caucus, who believe his dentures count as a cybernetic enhancement.

Jimmy Carter has a monumentally successful launch (92/100), which allows him to become the main rival to the ascendant George Washington. Carter focuses on integrity, which is valuable in a world where everyone has their dick pics or drunk photographs published on social media. Being the only non-revived candidate also does much to boost his down to earth image. His support in the south and widespread grassroots appeal may just give Washington a true challenge.

John Bell has a mediocre launch (21/100). As a minor candidate from long ago he was always a long shot, but his confederate ties really didn’t help either. His early rallies also caused controversy when Bell used racial slurs against migrant attendees. Bell also bungles the modern slavery issue pretty badly, losing the support of many AI rights groups. Bell has little to no appeal outside of the south and border south, and will likely need a major leg up to become a contender. Then again, his highly concentrated support in the border states could be useful as a bargaining chip for other candidates.

Rules:

You get three events per turn starting now. You can use event to rally in a state, ask for an endorsement, or try to form a fusion ticket with another player in a state. The election is 10 turns from now. You can also request one statewide poll per turn. Let me know your preferred way of requesting and receiving polls anonymously. Also, no polls for this turn. I can’t do them until the spreadsheet is fully operational to ensure accuracy.

National Polling

George Washington 34% @Dobs

Jimmy Carter 21% @Fbarbarossa

Robert Kennedy 10% @Sean F Kennedy

George W. Bush 10% @ConservativeElector2

Harold Stassen 7% @Cenzonico

Teddy Roosevelt 6% @WVProgressive

Dick Cheney 4% @Pringles

George Clinton 4% @Rezi

Bernie Sanders 2% @Timur

John Bell 2% @The Blood

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Event 1: George Clinton requests an endorsement from Thomas Jefferson's great x 39th grandson, Zayre Cayen Conr Kohner Jones the 23rd, Merchant Extraordinaire! He hopes that this will snub Washington and help to bring down the dirty man who aligned himself with the federalists one too many times.

 

Event 2: George Clinton holds a rally in Times Square 4.0. After reading about the history of New York City in the last 1200 years, he laments on how unfortunate it was that the city had to be rebuilt after Mayor Evelyn Yang III couldn't defend it from the Smurf Invasion of 2132, and how it suffered under the leadership of Governor Andrew Cuomo, who was the first human to live to 150, somehow managing to be Governor of New York for for 26 terms.

 

Event 3: George Clinton visits the state of Arkansas, confused, not knowing anything about the state or why he's popular there. He continues to maintain that he has never "sent an eeeemail" in his life. He tries to gauge the people and convince them that Democratic-Republicanism is the way forward. Luckily, parties have been abolished for so long that this doesn't confuse the people of the state, probably.

Edited by Rezi
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1.Bernie Sanders seeks the endorsement of Communist Party USA. He promises that he will move forward with more radical views.

2.Bernie Sanders campaigns in Wisconsin calling for expanding healthcare coverage to every living and robotic being in the universe to make healthcare truly universal.

3.Bernie Sanders travels to California calling George Washington a "white supremacist" who should be banned from all social media whether it is global or intergalactic.

Edited by Timur
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1. Bobby Kennedy will campaign in Massachusetts where he will announce his support of a fusion ticket for Carter/Kennedy wherever it can happen @Fbarbarossa

2. Kennedy will rally in Arizona where he will have a gun in his holster. “ anyone who tries to shoot me is going to have to deal with this big iron on my hip”

3. Kennedy will hold a mega rally in California where he will seek the support of Jerry Brown.

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1. Dick Cheney campaigns in Kansas where he advocates for an invasion of Saudi Arabia. And a return to the use of oil rather than stupid worthless technology that the liberals imposed upon the world.

2. Dick Cheney rallies in Utah where he calls Bernie Sanders a complete dumbass who's too much of a wuss to invade a country.

3. Dick Cheney announces he's willing to be on a fusion ticket with George Bush in the state of Texas. @ConservativeElector2

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1. Harold Stassen proclaims the creation of the "Church of Stassen", a denomination of Christianity where Stassen replaces all imagery and is considered the "supreme god of Earth who will lead the world to heaven". He denounces all other candidates as "devil worshipping bigots who shall be banished to hell!" In a era of technology, Harold hopes his new found religion can gain traction. 

2 and 3. Harold spreads the "good word" in Alabama and Mississippi, hoping to strike a cord with voters.

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