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Funny Crusader Kings 3 Result


vcczar
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I've been running CK3 in observor mode in the background while working. The game is in about the year 1400. Here's the odd, hilarious results:

  • First, let me start off that I created a Countess of Ulm at the beginning of the game. She had all the best traits and started with like 30 kids. Also, she was an Adamite Christian. They apparently didn't wear clothes. 
  • This Countess of Ulm died at age 113 as Holy Roman Emperess and betrothed to her great-great grandson who was a century younger. At her death, all of Germany was Adamite.
  • In 1400, Catholicism, Orthodox, and Coptic Christianities are almost dead. Adamite Christianity covers 98% of Europe, most of Northern Africa and most of the Middle East. The other Christianities only exist in pockets. 
  • In 1400, All of the various Adamite emperors and kings appear to descend from this original countess (and none of them wear clothes). 
  • The Holy Roman Empire and Byzantine Empires (both Adamite) are the largest European nations, with the latter being that largest. 
  • Adamites seems to have repelled Islamic invasions from the West (via Spain), Center (via Sicily), and East (via Russia and the Middle East). 
  • The only rival as a world religion seems to be Ash'ari Islam. 
  • The game has about 53 more years to simulate. EU4 allows for CK3 scenarios to transfer over, so I'll be able to observe theocratic nudity conquer the world 
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Just looked. It's 1445 and both Catholicsm and Orthodox Christianity are extinct. The only other Christianity to Adamitism is Nestorian, which exists only in a small part of Ethiopia. Adamitism is also dominating almost all of Africa and the Middle East now. Islam exists primarily in the Asian part of Russia and Central Asia and Iran. 

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6 minutes ago, ConservativeElector2 said:

What about Chinese and Indian realms? What's the dominant religion there currently? Japan could also be interesting.

Shaivite dominates India and the surrounding area. 3rd largest religion in geographical space. Japan isn't on the CK3 map and only Tibet is for China. 

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I was multi-tasking today with work and CK3. I created a ruler who had as many affairs as possible. Ultimately, he had about 210 children and over 500 living descendants shortly before his death. However, the game was have some sort of mechanism to reduce characters. In the last year of his life, about 120 of his kids all died from stress. I ended up just having my initial ruler kill himself because I think the game was killing off all his descendants. Weird!

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So I researched why I had 120 of my 210 kids all die of stress within a year. So apparently when a sibling dies they get stressed, so it started a chain reaction in which they all died from grief. Had I not killed off my main character, they probably would have all died. 

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12 minutes ago, vcczar said:

So I researched why I had 120 of my 210 kids all die of stress within a year. So apparently when a sibling dies they get stressed, so it started a chain reaction in which they all died from grief. Had I not killed off my main character, they probably would have all died. 

That's good it was just grief/stress. In ck2 there was the spawn of Satan chain where a child brutally murdered each of its siblings before eventually killing you. Horrifying!

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11 minutes ago, 10centjimmy said:

That's good it was just grief/stress. In ck2 there was the spawn of Satan chain where a child brutally murdered each of its siblings before eventually killing you. Horrifying!

What they heck!

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
30 minutes ago, MrPotatoTed said:

I played my first hands off game in probably a year today, just to test out my fancy new computer.  England was formed via a peasant revolt.  Their formerly peasant descendants eventually formed the HRE.

I've been playing as a lowly count in Spain. I've been marrying my family with each other to make them as imbred as possible. Most of the family dies in their 20s. One ruler was an albino dwarf who was also hideous, scaly, scarred, wheezing, fragile, imbecile, etc. but somehow had seducer, fornicator, deviant, lustful, and...forgot the trait that allows for a lot of children.  He was basically dying from age 5 until 40. Not sure how he lived to 40. His grandson was also his step-father and his grandniece was his 3rd wife. Etc.

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  • 3 weeks later...

The latest CK3 I've had playing in observer mode in the background as I work:

  • I created Zeus Olympus, Doux of Athens! He's based off Zeus. His religion is Hellenic. 
  • In order for him to operate like the mythological Zeus, I made him superpowered, fecund, wrathful, seducer, deviant, amazonian, tall, etc, etc., etc. 
  • I had him reform the Hellenic religion to make it more in line with "What Would Zeus Do?." As such, the religion has no restrictions on marriage -- and virtually no sins, except for being chaste. 
  • Ultimately, this led to a fedund race of imbred Greeks that spread all over Europe, the Middle East, and Northern Africa. 
  • Because of their weird religion, they can only marry their own family, or have a preference for it, at least. Granddaughters marry grandfathers routinely. Many marry their own sons with their own daughters. 
  • I saw several of the following:
    • Imbred geniuses
    • Amazonian dwarfs
    • Beautiful people forced to wear iron masks due to failed surgeries; yet, still labeled beautiful 
    • Half of those with Olympus as a last name are either club-footed or has lover's pox. Many others have scaly skin or are spindly. 
    • Many other circus freaks
  • It's actually still going. In the year 1168.
  • Current head of the dynasty is Saba Olympus-Wolgast, the Emperor of Hellas. He is of Egypto-Greek culture. He seems to have no negative physical traits, unlike most of the family. His wife is of the House of Olympus (the original house). As she's also without physical or mental flaws, the children seem to be healthy. This is actually rare for them. 

I think this might encourage @MrPotatoTed to get on board with CK3 over CK2. Lots of funny things. 

 

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1 hour ago, vcczar said:

The latest CK3 I've had playing in observer mode in the background as I work:

  • I created Zeus Olympus, Doux of Athens! He's based off Zeus. His religion is Hellenic. 
  • In order for him to operate like the mythological Zeus, I made him superpowered, fecund, wrathful, seducer, deviant, amazonian, tall, etc, etc., etc. 
  • I had him reform the Hellenic religion to make it more in line with "What Would Zeus Do?." As such, the religion has no restrictions on marriage -- and virtually no sins, except for being chaste. 
  • Ultimately, this led to a fedund race of imbred Greeks that spread all over Europe, the Middle East, and Northern Africa. 
  • Because of their weird religion, they can only marry their own family, or have a preference for it, at least. Granddaughters marry grandfathers routinely. Many marry their own sons with their own daughters. 
  • I saw several of the following:
    • Imbred geniuses
    • Amazonian dwarfs
    • Beautiful people forced to wear iron masks due to failed surgeries; yet, still labeled beautiful 
    • Half of those with Olympus as a last name are either club-footed or has lover's pox. Many others have scaly skin or are spindly. 
    • Many other circus freaks
  • It's actually still going. In the year 1168.
  • Current head of the dynasty is Saba Olympus-Wolgast, the Emperor of Hellas. He is of Egypto-Greek culture. He seems to have no negative physical traits, unlike most of the family. His wife is of the House of Olympus (the original house). As she's also without physical or mental flaws, the children seem to be healthy. This is actually rare for them. 

I think this might encourage @MrPotatoTed to get on board with CK3 over CK2. Lots of funny things. 

 

Oh, I have CK3.  Got it on release day, I’m pretty sure.  I played it a lot for a week or two, and have barely touched it since.  Most of my gaming time is spent on AMPU. Haha.  
 

But when they finally release the Game of Thrones mod, expect me to disappear for a few weeks. Haha

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