"We must hang together, or we will surely hang separately" - A one-player rookie test run of the 1772 Campaign

[matthewyoung123]

Background-

I am going to ATTEMPT to take this on all by myself but may need some assistance.  In the words of Benjamin Franklin, "We must all hang together, or we will surely hang separately."  I am a relative rookie to this game, having only started being an actual play-tester in late June.  My Google Sheet skills are very basic and still in development.  I will likely have to reach out to others to help me process phases (when we go from, say 1772 to 1774), and will also need assistance importing the rookie draft.  All that being said, I have a great interest in seeing the game thrive and a real fascination with the American Revolution.  I wanted to see if a "rookie" could do a single player test and keep up with all the factions.  

So, what I have done with factions is selected 10 leaders from the draft pool by ideology.  MOST of them already had the leadership trait and they became the 1st picks for their respective factions and the factions are names for them. For example, Thomas Jefferson is the only RW Populist ideology politician with Leadership, so he was selected as the faction leader for the RW Pop/Trad Blue team.  In the case of more than 1 leader having the same ideology and the leadership trait, I rolled a die to see who would be the leader or moved them to another faction that most closely aligned with their ideology.  For example, Pickering and Huntington are both Red Conservatives with Leadership, so they each lead their own faction.  One is Cons/Trads, the other is Cons/Mods.

There were two Red factions that had no politicians with those ideologies and the leadership quality on each end of the spectrum.  In that case, the politician with the highest value that had that ideology became the faction leader.  For example, Henry Laurens, a Traditional Red politician, became the leader of the RW Pop/Trad/Cons Red faction since he had the highest PV or Political Value score.  There are actually no Red RW Populists in the 1772 draft, so by default as a Trad politician, he actually became the leader of the first Trad/Cons Red faction.  On the other side of the spectrum, Oliver Ellsworth was the highest PV with a Liberal ideology, so he became the leader of the Red Libs/Prog Reds even though he didn't have the leadership trait and there are no LW Pop Red politicians.  I hope this makes sense, it made sense to me in my mind.

Red Factions-

Henry Laurens of SC leads a Trad/Cons faction (no Red RW Pops).

Timothy Pickering of MA leads a Trad/Cons faction.

Samuel Huntington of CT leads a Cons/Mod faction.

Thomas Mifflin of PA leads a Mod/Lib faction.

Oliver Ellsworth of CT leads a Lib/Prog faction (no Red LW Pops).

Blue Factions-

Thomas Jefferson of VA leads a RW Pop/Trad faction.

Richard Henry Lee of VA leads a Trad/Cons faction.

Peyton Randolph of VA leads a Cons/Mod faction.

John Hancock of MA leads a Mod/Lib faction.

Samuel Adams of MA leads a Lib/Prog/LW Pop faction.

 

Rolled dice to find out the Red and Blue draft order.  Only politicians with the matching faction ideology can be drafted, and in most cases, the politician with the highest PV score with the matching ideology for the faction was selected.

Red draft order is Mifflin, Laurens, Ellsworth, Pickering, Huntington. 

Blue draft order is Adams, Jefferson, Lee, Hancock, Randolph.

 

Red Draft Through Five Rounds-

Mifflin PA, Benjamin Franklin PA, John Jay NY, Roger Sherman CT, Charles Wilson Peale PA. (3 of 5 are PA)

Laurens SC, Benjamin Lincoln MA, Charles Coatesworth Pinckney SC, John Rutledge SC, Alexander Martin NC. (3 of 5 are SC)

Ellsworth CT, Thomas McKean DE, George Wythe VA, Robert Treat Paine MA, Benjamin Rush PA.

Pickering MA, Jonathan Trumbull Jr CT, Robert H Harrison MD, John Lowell MA, Henry Middleton SC.

Huntington CT, George Washington VA, John Adams MA, Henry Wilson PA, Caesar Rodney DE.

 

Blue Draft Through Five Rounds-

S Adams MA, James Sullivan MA, Hugh Williamson NC, Elias Boudinot NJ, James Warren MA. (3 of 5 are MA)

Jefferson VA, Patrick Henry VA, Charles Scott KY, John Tyler Sr VA, George Mason VA. (4 of 5 are VA)

R.H. Lee VA, John Dickinson PA, Josiah Bartlett NH, Thomas Tudor Tucker SC, Edward Telfair GA.

Hancock MA, George Clinton NY, Thomas Crittenden CT, Moses Robinson VT, Meshech Weare NH.

Randolph VA, Elbridge Gerry MA, Richard Caswell NC, John Sevier NC, Richard Bassett DE.

 

[MrPotatoTed]

Congrats!  The good news is the switch from 1772 to 1774 is actually super easy.  You just change the year on the main tab, which then automatically updates everyone's ages.

Changing actual eras (Like when you reach 1788) is more involved, but at least you've got a while before you have to take that one on. ;c)

[matthewyoung123]

1 hour ago, MrPotatoTed said:

Congrats!  The good news is the switch from 1772 to 1774 is actually super easy.  You just change the year on the main tab, which then automatically updates everyone's ages.

Changing actual eras (Like when you reach 1788) is more involved, but at least you've got a while before you have to take that one on. ;c)

That is OUTSTANDING news!

[matthewyoung123]

Rounds 6-10 for the Draft 

About Round 9, there were no more politicians on some of the fringes of the Red Party (Libs/Trads), so Ellsworth was allowed to start drafting Moderates.  As other ideologies begin to run out of politicians, factions will be allowed to draft 1 ideology closer to the center of the party.

Red Draft-

Mifflin PA- Benjamin Stoddart MD, Artemas Ward MA, John Langdon NH, Arthur Lee VA, Nathaniel Gorham MA.

Laurens SC- William Patterson NJ, Lewis Morris NY, Pierce Butler SC, Jonathan Trumbull Sr CT, Theodore Sedgewick MA.

Ellsworth CT- Francis Hopkinson NJ, Daniel of St. Thomas Jenifer MD, Lyman Hall GA, Benjamin Chew PA, James Bowdoin MA.

Pickering MA- Francis Dana MA, Robert Morris PA, John McKinly DE, Benedict Arnold CT, Gunning Bedford Sr DE.

Huntington CT- Matthew Griswold CT, William Moultrie SC, Caleb Strong MA, Richard Stockton NJ, Israel Putnam CT.

 

Blue Draft-

S Adams MA- Arthur Fenner RI, William Montgomery PA, Melancton Smith NY, George Bryan PA, Thomas Paine PA.

Jefferson VA- Thomas Heyward Jr SC, Samuel Maclay PA, William Maclay PA, Daniel Boone KY, William Preston VA. (The Maclay Bros are the only ones in the faction North of Mason-Dixon so far).

R.H. Lee VA- Nathaniel Niles VT, John Page VA, Theodorick Bland VA, William Floyd NY, James Madison Sr VA (4 VA politicians out of 10).

Hancock MA- John Treutlen GA, Peter Muhlenberg PA, Paul Brigham VT, John Hart NJ, Jonathan Ingersoll CT.

Randolph VA- Alexander MacDougall NY, Anthony Wayne PA, John Milton GA, Alexander Gillon SC, Return J Meigs Sr OH.

 

100 draftees down, 160+ more to go!

 

[matthewyoung123]

I finished the draft but not manually typing out 160 more names ;-)

Final total tally of the number of politicians per faction-

RED-

Laurens- 23

Pickering- 24

Huntington- 36

Mifflin- 36

Ellsworth- 36

BLUE-

Jefferson- 18 (smallest faction)

Richard Lee- 23

Randolph- 24

Hancock- 24

Sam Adams- 24

 

 

[OrangeP47]

33 minutes ago, matthewyoung123 said:

I finished the draft but not manually typing out 160 more names 😉

Now you know why I get so annoyed at the draft in 1840

[vcczar]

1 hour ago, matthewyoung123 said:

I finished the draft but not manually typing out 160 more names 😉

Final total tally of the number of politicians per faction-

RED-

Laurens- 23

Pickering- 24

Huntington- 36

Mifflin- 36

Ellsworth- 36

BLUE-

Jefferson- 18 (smallest faction)

Richard Lee- 23

Randolph- 24

Hancock- 24

Sam Adams- 24

 

 

I’d only type out the top pick for each faction and then any interesting pickups. 

[MrPotatoTed]

2 hours ago, matthewyoung123 said:

I finished the draft but not manually typing out 160 more names 😉

Final total tally of the number of politicians per faction-

RED-

Laurens- 23

Pickering- 24

Huntington- 36

Mifflin- 36

Ellsworth- 36

BLUE-

Jefferson- 18 (smallest faction)

Richard Lee- 23

Randolph- 24

Hancock- 24

Sam Adams- 24

Should have ended with an even number for red factions, and an even number for Blue factions -- if you're following the rules exactly.  Of course if you're playing your own house rules, that's fine.  Just making sure you understood the rules if you're trying to follow them.

[matthewyoung123]

A few politicians from all factions have been placed on Career Tracks, anywhere between 2-6 per faction.

I think the "rookie draft" and the regular draft were together in the initial draft.  So, only politicians 29 years old or less were eligible for the career track in 1772.

Political Moves (all are alternate states so they succeed)-

Mifflin faction-

Abner Nash moves from VA to NC

Ellsworth Faction-

John Bayard moves from PA to NJ

Sam Adams Faction-

Thomas Paine moves from PA to NY

 

Ideology Shifts-

Laurens faction-

Charles Coatesworth Pinckney Cons->Trad (75% chance since Pinckney is Pliable and Trad is faction leader's ideology)- Success- Rolled 3 (had to roll between 1-75).

Benjamin Lincoln Cons->Trad (50% since Trad is faction leader's ideology)- Success- Rolled 47 (had to roll between 1-50).

William Paterson Cons->Trad (50% since Trad is faction leader's ideology)- Success- Rolled 36 (had to roll between 1-50).

Pickering faction-

Benedict Arnold Trad->Cons (50% since Cons is faction leader's ideology) Success- Rolled 19.

Robert Morris Trad->Cons (50% since Cons is faction leader's ideology) Fails- Rolled 76. Gains Flip-Flopper.

Huntington faction-

Israel Putnam Mod->Cons (50% since Cons is faction leader's ideology) Success. Rolled a 4.

Joseph Hewes Mod->Cons (50% since Cons is faction leader's ideology) Fails- Rolled 71.  

Mifflin faction-

Charles Willson Peale Lib->Mod (50% since Mod is faction leader's ideology) Fails- Rolled 63. Gains Flip-Flopper.

Arthur Lee Lib->Mod (50% since Mod is faction leader's ideology) Fails- Rolled 69. Gains Flip-Flopper.

Ellsworth faction-

Oliver Wolcott Sr Mod->Lib (50% since Lib is faction leader's ideology) Fails. Rolled 79.

James Bowdoin Mod->Lib (50% since Lib is faction leader's ideology) Success. Rolled 10.

Esek Hopkins Mod->Lib (50% since Lib is faction leader's ideology) Success. Rolled 29.

Jefferson faction-

Thomas Sumter Cons->Trad (35% since base plus 10% chance since faction leader has Leadership & Iron Fist). Fails. Rolled 58.

Patrick Henry Trad->RW Pop (60% since RW Pop is faction leader's ideology + 10% for faction leader's Leadership & Iron Fist) Success. Rolled 43.

Samuel Maclay Trad->RW Pop (60% since RW Pop is faction leader's ideology + 10% for faction leader's Leadership & Iron Fist) Fails. Rolled 67.

R H Lee faction-

Thomas Burke Mod->Cons (50% since Cons is faction leader's ideology) Failure 86. 

Robert Brown Mod->Cons (50% since Cons is faction leader's ideology) Success 11.

Francis Lightfoot Lee Mod->Cons (50% since Cons is faction leader's ideology) Success 41.

Randolph faction-

Alexander Gillon Cons->Mod (50% since Mod is faction leader's ideology) Success 24.

Francis Willis Cons->Mod (50% since Mod is faction leader's ideology) Failure 72. Gains Flip-Flopper.

John Sevier Cons->Mod (50% since Mod is faction leader's ideology) Failure 54.

Hancock faction-

Thomas Chittenden Lib->Mod (50% since Lib is faction leader's ideology) Success 33.

Moses Robinson Lib->Mod (50% since Lib is faction leader's ideology) Failure 86. Gains Flip-Flopper.

John A Treutlen Lib-Mod (50% since Lib is faction leader's ideology) Failure 93. Gains Flip-Flopper.

Sam Adams faction-

Melancton Smith Prog->LW Pop (50% since LW Pop is faction leader's ideology) Failure 98.

John Smilie Prog->LW Pop (50% since LW Pop is faction leader's ideology) Success 25.

Christopher Gadsden Mod->Lib (25% base chance) Failure 56.

 

[matthewyoung123]

2.1.6- Party Conversions

No politicians moved interparty, despite attempts to do so (chances are low with meters still mostly neutral).

There are only 4 Pliable politicians (3 Red and 1 Blue) and they are all in the faction that aligns or best aligns with their ideology, so no attempts were made to target same party members.

2.1.7- Kingmakers

Samuel Huntington takes on Dudley Saltonstall.  Saltonstall gains Agriculture, +1 Command, Leadership.

Benjamin Franklin takes on Thomas Mifflin.  Mifflin gains Foreign Affairs, +1 Command, Civil Rights, Efficient.

Patrick Henry takes on Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson gains Military, +1 Governing, RW Activist, Orator.

Ebenezer Hazard takes on John Berry.  Berry gains Business, +1 Admin.

Robert R. Livingston takes on Cornelius Schoonmaker. Schoonmaker gains Foreign Affairs, +1 Governing, Egghead.

[matthewyoung123]

Faction Leaders-

Red Factions-

Henry Laurens of SC loses obscure, gains leadership, +1 Command.

Timothy Pickering of MA loses obscure, gains Debater.

Samuel Huntington of CT loses obscure. (Would gain Kingmaker, but he already has it).

Thomas Mifflin of PA loses obscure, gains Orator.

Oliver Ellsworth of CT loses obscure, gains +1 Gov.

Blue Factions-

Thomas Jefferson of VA loses obscure, gains likeable.

Richard Henry Lee of VA loses obscure, gains +1 Gov.  

Peyton Randolph of VA gets nothing.

John Hancock of MA loses obscure, gains +1 Legislative, +1 Admin.

Samuel Adams of MA gains Kingmaker.

 

[Lars]

Sorry for being late and vague and such. Feel free to shoot me a DM on Discord everytime you hit a snag. There's a 50/50 chance I've hit that snag too.

[matthewyoung123]

2 hours ago, Lars said:

Sorry for being late and vague and such. Feel free to shoot me a DM on Discord everytime you hit a snag. There's a 50/50 chance I've hit that snag too.

Thank you! Really appreciate that.

[matthewyoung123]

1772-74 Events

1772-

A group of Rhode Islanders, led by Abraham Whipple (Ellsworth faction) and John Brown, burn down a grounded British customs ship that had been enforcing the Navigation Act. These acts and taxation are unjust but such violence will only inflame a response. I fear a military response.  Relations with Great Britain remain the same.
 

Samuel Adams (Sam Adams faction), Joseph Warren (Mifflin faction), and Mercy Otis Warren of Massachusetts set up a Committee of Correspondence in response to the Gaspee Affair to coordinate colonial opposition to the British Parliament and advocate colonial rights. Similar committees are expected to spring up elsewhere. We can only hope that such committees will be constructive and harmonizing.

Jefferson faction +50

Sam Adams faction +50

All other factions -50

Benjamin Franklin has long been a leading intellectual and has spent almost as much time in London and Paris as he has in Philadelphia, making Franklin the most recognized name in America. His inventions, scientific experiments, and publications have made his name immortal. Franklin gains Celebrity.

Carl Linneaus, the world famous Swedish naturalist, proclaimed Bartram the "Greatest Natural Botanist in the World." [Historically, the Founding Fathers made frequent trips to his garden in Philadelphia.]  John Bartram (Ellsworth faction) gains Celebrity.

1773-

In an effort to help the British East India Company, British Parliament has enacted a Tea Act, which is certainly going to hurt the port-city merchants in the American Colonies. Furthermore, those desiring representation in Parliament see this as yet another list of unjust taxation. This does not bode well. Parliament must be tone deaf! Taxation on Sugar, Stamps, and now tea? We don't even get a voice to object or accept this taxation!

Colonial Relations with the UK -1

Jefferson faction +50

Sam Adams faction +50

All other factions -50

The Sons of Liberty of Massachusetts, led by Samuel Adams, board a merchant ship and dump the entire cargo of British East India tea into Boston harbor. Such marvelous boldness! It's difficult to know if this action by the Sons of Liberty will have been reckless or righteous. We can expect consequences by His Majesty King George III and his Parliament.  Sam Adams gains Celebrity.

 

[Vicx]

Prying for Huntington to become president 🙏

[matthewyoung123]

3 hours ago, Vicx said:

Prying for Huntington to become president 🙏

Long way to go before that!  Have to declare Independence and actually win. ;-) 

[matthewyoung123]

Meter movements-

Relations with the UK are now at Level 4 (Between Hostile & Neutral).

LW Pops, Conservatives, Moderates, and RW Pops all +1 Blue to now Leans Blue.

Moving onto 1774-76.

[Lars]

Matt, I'm pretty sure you are supposed to start at a much lower diplomatic level with the Britbongs 

[matthewyoung123]

1 minute ago, Lars said:

Matt, I'm pretty sure you are supposed to start at a much lower diplomatic level with the Britbongs 

The meters were all in the middle...does anyone know where the meters should all begin for 1772?  The sheet I got was sort of a hybrid between 1772 and 2020!  Thanks.

- Matt

[Lars]

Uh, gimme 15 minutes and I find them from the official startdate sheets

[Lars]

11 minutes later, Ive sent you the stuff on Discord

[matthewyoung123]

1774-76

Elections for the First Continental Congress-

CT- Huntington, Sherman, Ellsworth

DE- Rodney (+1 Leg), Collins

GA- Telfair, Treutlen

MA- Pickering, John Adams, Ward, Bowdoin

MD- Smallwood, Charles Carrollton, Sheredine (+1 Leg), Archer

NC- Bloodworth, Caswell, Harnett

NH- Wingate, Langdon

NJ- Paterson, Clark, Boudinot

NY- Jay (+1 Leg), Morris, Schoonmaker

PA- Scott, Franklin, Dickinson, Taylor

RI- Tillinghast, Ellery

SC- Henry Middleton, Laurens, Arthur Middleton

VA- Washington, R.H. Lee, Randolph (+1 Leg), Jefferson.

President of the Continental Congress- Two factions tie with 7 each, Huntington and Mifflin.  Huntington faction wins the tie breaker.

Huntington, John Adams, and George Washington are all eligible to be President of the Congress.  John Adams wins the role (gains +1 Leg) and will serve as the President of the Continental Congress. He loses Obscure.

Adams appoints Huntington (CT) as Domestic Chair, Washington (VA) as Foreign/Military Chair (gains Leadership), Lewis Morris (NY) as Economic Chair, and Caesar Rodney (RI) (Gains Leadership) as Judicial Chair.

Domestic Committee- Huntington, CT gains Business

• Telfair, GA
• Carrollton, MD 
• Caswell, NC gains Energy
• Schoonmaker, NY 
• Taylor, PA 
• Pickering, MA 
• Paterson, NJ 
• Jefferson, VA 
• R.H. Lee, VA gains Business

Foreign Affairs/Military Committee- Washington, VA gains Foreign Affairs

• Ellsworth, CT gains Foreign Affairs
• Treutlen, GA 
• Ward, MA (gains +1 Leg) 
• Harnett, NC 
• H. Middleton, SC 
• Boudinot, NJ  
• Franklin, PA gains Military
• Tillinghast, RI 
• Randolph, VA  

Economic Committee- Morris, NY gains Economics

• Sherman, CT gains Trade
• Collins, DE 
• Sheredine, MD 
• Bloodworth, NC 
• Langdon, NH 
• Jay, NY 
• Dickinson, PA gains Economics
• Ellery, RI 

Judicial Committee- Rodney gains Justice

• Bowdoin, MA 
• Smallwood, MD gains Welfare
• Archer, MD 
• Wingate, NH gains Labor
• Clark, NJ 
• Scott, PA 
• A Middleton, SC 
• Laurens, SC gains Justice

Moderates like that Adams is the President of the Congress and has appointed Rodney to a Chairmanship.  Moderate enthusiasm moves +1 Red to No preference.

No draft, no career track.

John A Treutlen, Moses Robinson, and Francis Willis lose flip-flopper.

Relocations-

Currently, PA is overpopulated.  MA, NY, VA are currently at the right level.  All other states show as underpopulated.

Samuel Osgood moves from MA->NY but NY is an alternate state so his move is automatically successful.

George Ross successfully moves from overpopulated PA to underpopulated NC.  No gains.

No other relocations.

Ideology shifts-

George Mason RW Pop->Trad succeeds.

No other shifts.

Kingmakers-

Samuel Adams takes on James Warren as a protégé. Warren gains +1 Gov, Reformist, Provincial.

George Mason takes on William Preston as a protégé. Preston gains +1 Gov, Integrity.

Edited August 16, 2022 by matthewyoung123

[MrPotatoTed]

7 hours ago, matthewyoung123 said:

1774-76

Elections for the First Continental Congress-

CT- Huntington, Sherman, Ellsworth

DE- Rodney (+1 Leg), Collins

GA- Telfair, Treutlen

MA- Pickering, John Adams, Ward, Bowdoin

MD- Smallwood, Charles Carrollton, Sheredine (+1 Leg), Archer

NC- Bloodworth, Caswell, Harnett

NH- Wingate, Langdon

NJ- Paterson, Clark, Boudinot

NY- Jay (+1 Leg), Morris, Schoonmaker

PA- Scott, Franklin, Dickinson, Taylor

RI- Tillinghast, Ellery

SC- Henry Middleton, Laurens, Arthur Middleton

VA- Washington, R.H. Lee, Randolph (+1 Leg), Jefferson.

President of the Continental Congress- Two factions tie with 7 each, Huntington and Mifflin.  Huntington faction wins the tie breaker.

Huntington, John Adams, and George Washington are all eligible to be President of the Congress.  John Adams wins the role (gains +1 Leg) and will serve as the President of the Continental Congress. He loses Obscure.

Adams appoints Huntington (CT) as Domestic Chair, Washington (VA) as Foreign/Military Chair (gains Leadership), Lewis Morris (NY) as Economic Chair, and Caesar Rodney (RI) (Gains Leadership) as Judicial Chair.

Domestic Committee- Huntington, CT gains Business

• Telfair, GA
• Carrollton, MD 
• Caswell, NC gains Energy
• Schoonmaker, NY 
• Taylor, PA 
• Pickering, MA 
• Paterson, NJ 
• Jefferson, VA 
• R.H. Lee, VA gains Business

Foreign Affairs/Military Committee- Washington, VA gains Foreign Affairs

• Ellsworth, CT gains Foreign Affairs
• Treutlen, GA 
• Ward, MA (gains +1 Leg) 
• Harnett, NC 
• H. Middleton, SC 
• Boudinot, NJ  
• Franklin, PA gains Military
• Tillinghast, RI 
• Randolph, VA  

Economic Committee- Morris, NY gains Economics

• Sherman, CT gains Trade
• Collins, DE 
• Sheredine, MD 
• Bloodworth, NC 
• Langdon, NH 
• Jay, NY 
• Dickinson, PA gains Economics
• Ellery, RI 

Judicial Committee- Rodney gains Justice

• Bowdoin, MA 
• Smallwood, MD gains Welfare
• Archer, MD 
• Wingate, NH gains Labor
• Clark, NJ 
• Scott, PA 
• A Middleton, SC 
• Laurens, SC gains Justice

Moderates like that Adams is the President of the Congress and has appointed Rodney to a Chairmanship.  Moderate enthusiasm moves +1 Red to No preference.

No draft, no career track.

John A Treutlen, Moses Robinson, and Francis Willis lose flip-flopper.

Relocations-

Currently, PA is overpopulated.  MA, NY, VA are currently at the right level.  All other states show as underpopulated.

Samuel Osgood moves from MA->NY but NY is an alternate state so his move is automatically successful.

George Ross successfully moves from overpopulated PA to underpopulated NC.  No gains.

No other relocations.

Ideology shifts-

George Mason RW Pop->Trad succeeds.

No other shifts.

Kingmakers-

Samuel Adams takes on James Warren as a protégé. Warren gains +1 Gov, Reformist, Provincial.

George Mason takes on William Preston as a protégé. Preston gains +1 Gov, Integrity.

Holy heck, John Adams actually DID SOMETHING???  ;c)

[Cal]

17 minutes ago, MrPotatoTed said:

Holy heck, John Adams actually DID SOMETHING???  ;c)

He did in Rezi And I’d play through too! 😛 

[10centjimmy]

8 hours ago, MrPotatoTed said:

Holy heck, John Adams actually DID SOMETHING???  ;c)

To be fair, he was president when we lost the Canadian invasion on a weighted die roll. We're all trying to give him a career!