Popular Post WVProgressive Posted April 6, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted April 6, 2023 DHNN Election Analysis: Episode 1 What a week it's been on the campaign trail! From unexpected surges, to disasters starts, me and my co-host have the latest in election analysis, tonight, on DHNN. But first, let's take a look at some of the week's headlines which have resulted from the media's efforts to vet our would be Presidents on such short notice. Politico: Ascendant Progressive Candidate Mishfox Denounced by ADL After Anti-Israeli Comments are Brought To Light! The Hill: Anti-Trump Republican Pringles criticized for Calling Ukrainian President Zelenski a Negro; Claims it was 'A Joke'! BBC3: Liverpool Labour Party Members Praise Barb's Work Ethic, and Care Towards Constituents! New York Post: Rezi EXPOSED! Candidate Caught DRUNKENLY RANTING On Discord! Fox Opinion: Chris Ackerman Is an Angel in Comparison to the other Doblets The Intercept: Sean F. Kennedy's Attempts to Play Defense for Amazon Shows The Failure of 'Reform-Capitalism' Salon: Presidential Candidate Dobs Caught Admitting to Recreational Ambien Use That may look rough, but many candidates actually performed quite well on the campaign trail, especially Chris Ackerman, who is garnering praise from every part of the Republican party for his avant-garde campaign strategies, and stalwart conservatism. This candidate looks to be an early favorite to make the second round, but it remains to be seen if he can thread the needle between appealing to his base of Christian Conservatives, while also bridging the divide between Trumpists, and more mainstream Conservatives. Pat, your thoughts? Pat: I'm not sure why any supposed 'Conservative' would ever want to cozy up to a lying snake-oil salesman like Donald Trump, especially when they supposedly claim to be a Christian, which Trump certainly is not! Say what you will about the former President, his supporters are dedicated, and while a minority, can still hold significant sway over the election, especially one as hotly contested as this. Speaking of hot, Chris's Conservative Counterpart Pringles is also off to a fire-hot start, picking up big name endorsements, and making inroads with both conservatives, and moderates, though the recent allegations surrounding him, and Zelenski may cool his momentum. What are your thoughts? Pat: Pringle's paranoid claims about China, and psychotic accusations towards Zelenski prove him to be the mentally ill wreck I always claimed him to be. I'd hope the American people would wake up, and stop electing war criminals - or in this case, people who cheerlead for war criminals - but I have been disappointed before, and will be again, I predict. Always such a downer, Pat, surely you've got to like what Mishfox has been able to do, right? Here we have this guy who hasn't been active for years, and suddenly he's being talked about like he's another Bernie Sanders! I'm doubtful that he can make the second round, but he can position himself quite nicely for a VP spot if he can keep his voter base active, engaged, and enlarged. His recent anti-Semitism allegations will also likely complicate his electoral calculus, unless he can put together a very cogent response. What do you think? Pat: Frankly I think the allegations that he is anti-Semitic are a lode of hooey. He has never to my recollection endorsed the discrimination of Jews, or the banning of the Jewish religion, what he has criticized is the illegal Israeli occupation of Gaza. I know Bibbi, and his friends in the State Department like to pretend that anti-Zionism, and anti-Semitism are one and the same, but they're not. I also think its suspicious that these allegations are revealed just a few days after he kicks off his campaign to a raucous launch, the CIA has been known to engage in similar dirty tricks in foreign elections when a candidate dares to break the status quo. Careful, Pat, if we get fined it's coming out of my paycheck. Let's move on to the other Progressive in the race, Fbarbarossa, 'The Doblets' Lone Lefty'! His campaigns also off to a fantastic start, though with Mishfox taking up so much air, it remains to be seen how far he can rise. It's possible the two of them could prevent either one of them, or even any left of center candidate, from getting to the second round. Another factor to consider is geography, Barb's campaign has focused mainly in New England, while Mish hasn't even left San Francisco. Thoughts? Pat: I'm not very familiar with Barb, though it saddens me to know that he was an associate of that cult this whole time. I also think your handwringing about Mish, and him preventing one of the other candidates from advancing smacks of the same lesser-evilism that plagued the old American duopoly. If the other candidates want to advance, perhaps they should appeal to left-wing voters? A shocking proposition, I know... Well surely you would agree that someone like Sean is preferable as President than someone like Pringles, or Christian, right? Pat: Lesser-evilism, I shall not take part in this thought experiment. Alright... And speaking of Sean, his campaign is off to a pretty nice start, not to the point of Mish, or Chris, but still good. The highlight of the week is obviously Tim Ryan's enthusiastic endorsement of him, as well as the viral ad of him at the gun range, but I want to talk about that opening speech. I watched that speech, and I realized something that I think some members of the media may have missed. Sean's whole ascetic, his rhetoric, even his policies, they all seem tailor made to appeal to the same type of disenfranchised rust belt voter that elected Trump eight years ago. I still think Chris has a lock on most Trump voters, but if there's anyone in this race who can dethrone him, it's Sean. Pat: I have to reiterate; I have no clue why anyone would want to be appealing to Trump voters... Creature of creativity, ain't ya Pat... Ah, not a good week for Dobs overall, but he's taking a strong position in Texas thanks to some dirty tricks, and out of context quotes. He has the admiration of the Doblets, but with most of them being his opponents, it remains to be seen if that will translate into support among the general population. He's going to have to make up a lot of ground lost on both the campaign trail, and from Salon's reporting of his recreation habits. There's also the factor that a lot of his voters are being aped by Pringles filling up the anti-Trump conservative lane. Pat: Frankly, I think he should be disqualified from being President for leading a cult of personality dedicated to personally harassing me. His Ambien problem is just more evidence of his immorality. Ah, c'mon Pat, there's nothing wrong with a little recreation on the weekends, just ask our next candidate! Hell, based off of some of the things he's said, I think he's been doing a bit of 'recreation' on the campaign trail. I mean, calling the Governor of New York Himmler in a Burger King? That's something out of an SNL sketch! It almost makes me want to vote for him just for laughs! Pat: I'm afraid I don't know who you're referring to, who else do we need to talk about? I'm talking about Rezi, haven't you heard of him. He's got a really fun campaign song, and... Pat?... Pat? Are you OK, Pat? We'll be back next week, here's Liz with the polls. --- CE2: 20% Pringles: 18% Sean: 15% Dobs: 5% Barb: 5% Mish: 3% Rezi: 2% Undecided: 32% It's still anyone's game! 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezi Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 10 minutes ago, WVProgressive said: New York Post: Rezi EXPOSED! Candidate Caught DRUNKENLY RANTING On Discord! TellingMeNowForTheFirstTime.mp4 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean F Kennedy Posted April 6, 2023 Share Posted April 6, 2023 1. @Fbarbarossauses this as an opportunity and invites all candidates to take a pledge in support of ranked choice voting, that way removing the risk of two left or right wingers making the runoff. 2. Fbarbarossa will campaign in New York City where he will blast former President Trump “ you know, I am very familiar with somebody like Trump, a narcissistic con man with bad hair, his name was Boris Johnson” 3. Fbarbarossa will end his week in Connecticut highlighting his support for gun control laws like in the state. endorsement: Fbarbarossa will seek the endorsement of Mark Hamill 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Posted April 7, 2023 Share Posted April 7, 2023 19 minutes ago, Sean F Kennedy said: his name was Boris Johnson … was?? Did Barb canonically kill Boris Johnson in this universe?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean F Kennedy Posted April 7, 2023 Share Posted April 7, 2023 21 minutes ago, Cal said: … was?? Did Barb canonically kill Boris Johnson in this universe?? Nope just sent him to the shadow realm 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cenzonico Posted April 7, 2023 Share Posted April 7, 2023 1. Mishfox releases a statement regarding recent revelations “Firstly, I will come out and say that I have never come out and intentionally say things that would be considered anti-semetic. In fact if you dig through my past you would see sentiments of pro-Israeli rhetoric. But whatever the ADL got their hands on, I take full responsibility for and apologize profusely for it. Our crusade cannot succeed if it excludes anybody based on creed, and I will move shortly to make amends with the Jewish community the best I can. Thank you.” 2. Mishfox made a promise to visit UC Berkeley, and he isn’t a man to break promises. He pickets students, engages in one on one conversations, and attends an event set up by the university’s DSA chapter to promote his message. 3. After finishing up in UCB, he simply barnstorms the city of Berkeley to get his name rec up. As the night falls, Mish decides to stay at a motel for now. Going online he looks and finds a ticket going from Oakland Air to LaGuardia. It’s with Spirit of all airlines, but Mish won’t pretend he’s rich. Why would he anyway? Pigs deserve their just deserts more than anything, Endorsement request: Rep. Barbara Lee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVProgressive Posted April 7, 2023 Author Share Posted April 7, 2023 I need events from @Cal @Pringles @Rezi @Hestia @The Blood for turn two. And a reminder to those doblets watching: There’s always room for one more… or two more. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezi Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 Pringles fights back against the claims about his speech against Zelensky: "Anybody out there who knows me knows for damn sure that I ain't ever gonna say anything like that about President Zelensky in anything but jest. The slanderous Hill took that there quote ridiculously out of context. It was from a private conversation where I was accurately mocking the French for their racist behavior. You know I bet The Hill hired back that bitch Krystal Ball, lord knows she can't handle anybody but the left. I mean, that husband of hers. What's his name? Kyle Bulimic? Kyle Kilkenny? Man I just can't remember, just like no one can remember The Hill. Besides, y'all know I would give my left nutsack for Zelensky. Let me tell you, this is a campaign promise right here. Day one, January 20th 2025 will be my inauguration. January 21st I'll be in Ukraine to meet with the President and his cabinet. If they haven't won this war by then, you know I'll do everything in my power and more to ensure it. We'll bring Ukraine into NATO and defeat the Russian menace once and for all! This will only be the first you'll hear on the plan for Pringrelations with countries all across the globe. We are going to bring American foreign policy back, baby!" Responding to Fbarbarossa's request, Prongle will announce support for Ranked Choice Voting on a statewide level. "I mean, we've seen what this can do. I don't know if you've watched Alaska and Maine y'all, but it's been beautiful. I was skeptical of this Ranked Choice nonsense at first, but I saw what it did, and man. It can make sure that moderate, sensible candidates above all are promoted to the American people. I mean, who could've dreamed of beauty like Jared Golden, Mary Peltola, and Lisa Murkowski without it? Let me tell you, first hundred days, I am making my own problem solving caucus with those 3 and some other great Americans." Pringles tries a new bold campaign strategy: Holding rallies at airports. He will buy tickets and days flying from Airport to Airport in states all around the country. He will depart his flights, and during his layovers will hold big beautiful rallies just outside. Endorsement: Dick Cheney 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pringles Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 1. Rezi, saddened by a disappointing campaign launch will head out to the real prize: beautiful Colorado. Rezi will tour the state hoping to woo Governor Jared Polis into endorsing him. Rezi says, "Nobody should have to go to jail for a blunt. The government should not force you into its shitty prison system for some shrooms. That's why with me as your President we're going to see all of these drugs, including hard drugs legalized, and taxed to Hell. If people want to cause themselves harm they should have every right to do so, but at least we tax it to Hell and use that money to improve our roads, our education system, and fix our HEALTHCARE! IN AN AMERICA WITH TRUE FREEDOM WALTER WHITE WOULD'VE MADE A KILLER METH SHOP AND LEFT A LEGACY FOR HIS FAMILY WITHOUT HIS TRAGIC DEMISE. THAT'S REAL FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, Colorado!" 2. Rezi will respond to the media bashing him for criticizing Governor Hochul as "Himmler." "Look, this Governor barely won against Lee Zeldin. Literally New York Mike Pence with some election skepticism. How shitty do you have to be to have that happen? If that's her margin against him imagine if Pataki or EVEN Thomas Dewey from the grave being her opponent, they'd win with Assad margins. Not to mention, her shitty district mapping gave people like George Santos a House seat and handed the GOP the House majority. Maybe the left-wing Twitter mob and media bitches about me calling a shitty Governor what she should be called, perhaps they'd like me to call her Pol Pot. And I will gladly do so to get the tankies to shut the fuck up. Thank you." 3. Rezi responds to Barbarossa's campaign call for ranked choice voting: "I loudly echo the calls by my fellow opponent FBarbarossa. This country needs to transfer power back to the voters, and ranked-choice voting accomplishes just that. And like that fella Pringle's said... Maine elected the beautiful Jared Golden; who's a real GOAT." Endorsement Request: Jared Polis 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVProgressive Posted April 8, 2023 Author Share Posted April 8, 2023 @Cal @Hestia @The Blood I need your events, the American public is dying to hear from you three. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 1 hour ago, WVProgressive said: @Cal @Hestia @The Blood I need your events, the American public is dying to hear from you three. Mine is coming tomorrow!! It’s a busy day for me unfortunately 😞 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hestia Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 1. Dobs will hold a rally in the suburbs outside of Atlanta, Georgia, where he will decry the populist tilt that the Republican party has taken and that suburbs like this one have flipped from Republican to Democratic. He claims out of all running that Ackerman isn't an angel like the Fox opinion headline suggests, but someone who supported Trump more vociferously than anyone else in the race. 2. Dobs claims that he is the 'most pro-Ukraine' candidate in the race after comments by Pringles in a press conference held in Richmond, Virginia. He knocks the other candidate for sharing the date when he will visit the country and says while he will surely visit Ukraine, he will want to keep that information under wraps for security reasons. 3. Dobs supporters and campaign officials work to sow doubt about Ackerman in the state of Georgia, hoping to erode his status as frontrunner. Endorsement Request: Gov. Larry Hogan (R-MD) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Blood Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 1. Sean will be interviewed by Tucker Carlson, using this opportunity to slam Tucker and appeal to his audience. "Tucker, I want the hardworking Americans who are watching at home to see you for what you are. Because the truth is, you aren't like the rest of us, getting by paycheck-to-paycheck and struggling to build a future for your family. No, you're a millionaire whose only worry is how you can get richer. That's why you want your audience to worry more about a fraction of a percent of the population, transgender people, than on the wealth gap and taxing people like you! That's why, for all the time you spend complaining about George Soros, we never hear you talking about the dark money on the right, which comes from your handlers like Charles Koch and Rupert Murdoch! And that's why, for all your talk about RINOs, we have verified text messages from you saying that you passionately hate Donald Trump! You are a liar and a fraud, Tucker, and I'm speaking for my fellow working-class Americans to say that we are tired of fake news bullshit from you!" 2. With all of the recent talk about Ukraine in the field, Sean will be struck with a bold idea to win the war while campaigning in a Philadelphia pub. Perhaps a little too tipsy to be making policy proposals, Sean will pledge to "deck Putin" as President, sending his "wimpy ass to the floor" to secure a Ukrainian victory in the overseas conflict. 3. Seeking to gain an edge in the race with bold campaign decisions, Sean will let his cats take over the trail for a day. Campaigning throughout Ohio, Persephone and Hades will be lured in front of crowds with catnip, playing in a cat tower on stage as an inspiring pitch to voters. Endorsement Request: Danny DeVito. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 Campaign event 1 — emulating the best ”Mr. President…” the agent trailed off, looking towards the group of kindergarten children that ConservativeElector2 was reading to. “A second Doblet has hit the World Trade Center.” ConservativeElector2 kept his calm, nodded to the agent, and finished out the children’s story without causing any kind of fuss. *booming, commercial advertisement voice* THIS is exactly the kind of demeanor you want in a future President of the United States. Our nation deserves someone that can make our children feel safe while planning to take decisive action against all of those who oppose us, both domestically and overseas. ConservativeElector2 can do everything Bush did, and more. He can be the man to unite us together and lead us through these troubled times together and with a national identity that is unified in its March towards progress for each and every god-fearing American. Campaign event 2 — the campaign manager Robert simply could not believe it. This was IT. This was supposed to his one way ticket out of this horrendous, communist campaign and instead he’d only causes for his own people to rally around “ConservativeElector2”. But that wouldn’t do again, he needs to do something unequivocally illegal to get himself fired from the campaign without being fired into from the constitutionally mandated firing squad. That’s why Robert has organized a meet and greet exclusively with currently un-apprehended criminals to appear on a show where Christian believes they are just normal folks. This casual connection should create enough for CE2 to be suspected of some level of conspiracy or cooperation with these felons. After all, surely this couldn’t backfire on Robert in any way and actually turn out okay for the CE2 campaign, right? Campaign Event 3 — CE2 and Jvikings storm across Texas, pushing hard for the Trump vote without outright saying his actions were acceptable. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 Endorsement request: New York Governor Hochul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WVProgressive Posted April 10, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted April 10, 2023 On 4/6/2023 at 7:56 PM, Sean F Kennedy said: 1. @Fbarbarossauses this as an opportunity and invites all candidates to take a pledge in support of ranked choice voting, that way removing the risk of two left or right wingers making the runoff. 2. Fbarbarossa will campaign in New York City where he will blast former President Trump “ you know, I am very familiar with somebody like Trump, a narcissistic con man with bad hair, his name was Boris Johnson” 3. Fbarbarossa will end his week in Connecticut highlighting his support for gun control laws like in the state. endorsement: Fbarbarossa will seek the endorsement of Mark Hamill 1. 5 - The pledge seems successful among the other candidates, but does Barb no favors among the voting public 2. 10 - Barb’s witticisms bring loud cheers from the audience, as well as the national audience that the speech garners after it’s highlights are broadcast during CNN’s prime time newscast 3. 1 - Barb loses his cool, and curses out a gun owner who had confronted him about his ignorance regarding gun semantics. The encounter is videotaped and goes viral on twitter. Endorsement: 9 - Hamill gives a passionate endorsement of Barb, and even calls up some of his friends to shoot a short ad for the campaign On 4/6/2023 at 11:04 PM, Cenzonico said: 1. Mishfox releases a statement regarding recent revelations “Firstly, I will come out and say that I have never come out and intentionally say things that would be considered anti-semetic. In fact if you dig through my past you would see sentiments of pro-Israeli rhetoric. But whatever the ADL got their hands on, I take full responsibility for and apologize profusely for it. Our crusade cannot succeed if it excludes anybody based on creed, and I will move shortly to make amends with the Jewish community the best I can. Thank you.” 2. Mishfox made a promise to visit UC Berkeley, and he isn’t a man to break promises. He pickets students, engages in one on one conversations, and attends an event set up by the university’s DSA chapter to promote his message. 3. After finishing up in UCB, he simply barnstorms the city of Berkeley to get his name rec up. As the night falls, Mish decides to stay at a motel for now. Going online he looks and finds a ticket going from Oakland Air to LaGuardia. It’s with Spirit of all airlines, but Mish won’t pretend he’s rich. Why would he anyway? Pigs deserve their just deserts more than anything, Endorsement request: Rep. Barbara Lee 1. 3 - You’ve convinced your die-hard supporters, but many people are turned off by this response, especially when you can’t mention what specific pro-Israeli sentiments you supposedly hold. 2. 2 - The meeting quickly turns into another Leftist Slapfight, result in nothing but exhaustion, wasted time, and mockery in the university’s newspaper. 3. 10 - The rally goes swimmingly, and you’re able to fill the streets with massive crowds of supporters chanting “Mish! Mish! Mish!” The videos of the rally go viral on twitter, and Jacobin writes an article calling you ‘The Second Coming of AOC’ Endorsement: 3 - Lee refuses to meet you On 4/7/2023 at 11:54 PM, Rezi said: Pringles fights back against the claims about his speech against Zelensky: "Anybody out there who knows me knows for damn sure that I ain't ever gonna say anything like that about President Zelensky in anything but jest. The slanderous Hill took that there quote ridiculously out of context. It was from a private conversation where I was accurately mocking the French for their racist behavior. You know I bet The Hill hired back that bitch Krystal Ball, lord knows she can't handle anybody but the left. I mean, that husband of hers. What's his name? Kyle Bulimic? Kyle Kilkenny? Man I just can't remember, just like no one can remember The Hill. Besides, y'all know I would give my left nutsack for Zelensky. Let me tell you, this is a campaign promise right here. Day one, January 20th 2025 will be my inauguration. January 21st I'll be in Ukraine to meet with the President and his cabinet. If they haven't won this war by then, you know I'll do everything in my power and more to ensure it. We'll bring Ukraine into NATO and defeat the Russian menace once and for all! This will only be the first you'll hear on the plan for Pringrelations with countries all across the globe. We are going to bring American foreign policy back, baby!" Responding to Fbarbarossa's request, Prongle will announce support for Ranked Choice Voting on a statewide level. "I mean, we've seen what this can do. I don't know if you've watched Alaska and Maine y'all, but it's been beautiful. I was skeptical of this Ranked Choice nonsense at first, but I saw what it did, and man. It can make sure that moderate, sensible candidates above all are promoted to the American people. I mean, who could've dreamed of beauty like Jared Golden, Mary Peltola, and Lisa Murkowski without it? Let me tell you, first hundred days, I am making my own problem solving caucus with those 3 and some other great Americans." Pringles tries a new bold campaign strategy: Holding rallies at airports. He will buy tickets and days flying from Airport to Airport in states all around the country. He will depart his flights, and during his layovers will hold big beautiful rallies just outside. Endorsement: Dick Cheney 1. 8 - Pringles strong commitment to countering Russian aggression is a hit with Hawks on both sides of the aisle, while isolationists seethe, and the Negro scandal fades into the background. 2. 6 - The move brings praise from the media as an excellent example of bipartisanship, and does move the needle with reform minded voters, but does not do a load to generate momentum otherwise 3. 8 - The strategy is a hit, giving Pringles a boost among the middle, and upper-middle class voters of America who fly commercial. Endorsement: 4 - Dick says some kind words in private, but tells you he isn’t comfortable endorsing you when Dobs already has his daughter’s endorsement locked up. On 4/8/2023 at 12:45 AM, Pringles said: 1. Rezi, saddened by a disappointing campaign launch will head out to the real prize: beautiful Colorado. Rezi will tour the state hoping to woo Governor Jared Polis into endorsing him. Rezi says, "Nobody should have to go to jail for a blunt. The government should not force you into its shitty prison system for some shrooms. That's why with me as your President we're going to see all of these drugs, including hard drugs legalized, and taxed to Hell. If people want to cause themselves harm they should have every right to do so, but at least we tax it to Hell and use that money to improve our roads, our education system, and fix our HEALTHCARE! IN AN AMERICA WITH TRUE FREEDOM WALTER WHITE WOULD'VE MADE A KILLER METH SHOP AND LEFT A LEGACY FOR HIS FAMILY WITHOUT HIS TRAGIC DEMISE. THAT'S REAL FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, Colorado!" 2. Rezi will respond to the media bashing him for criticizing Governor Hochul as "Himmler." "Look, this Governor barely won against Lee Zeldin. Literally New York Mike Pence with some election skepticism. How shitty do you have to be to have that happen? If that's her margin against him imagine if Pataki or EVEN Thomas Dewey from the grave being her opponent, they'd win with Assad margins. Not to mention, her shitty district mapping gave people like George Santos a House seat and handed the GOP the House majority. Maybe the left-wing Twitter mob and media bitches about me calling a shitty Governor what she should be called, perhaps they'd like me to call her Pol Pot. And I will gladly do so to get the tankies to shut the fuck up. Thank you." 3. Rezi responds to Barbarossa's campaign call for ranked choice voting: "I loudly echo the calls by my fellow opponent FBarbarossa. This country needs to transfer power back to the voters, and ranked-choice voting accomplishes just that. And like that fella Pringle's said... Maine elected the beautiful Jared Golden; who's a real GOAT." Endorsement Request: Jared Polis 1. 3 - Vince Gillian retweets a video of the speech with the statement “I think a lot of people have misinterpreted what BreakingBad was really about” 2. 1 - Ranting about woke twitter mobs is usually a Republican domain, so this response is already starting off on the wrong foot, but what makes it even worse is Rezi’s insistence on doubling-down, and comparing Holchul to Genocidal dictators. Rezi’s poll numbers continue to sink, and many of his remaining supporters are embarrassed to admit to following him. 3. 6 - Golden thanks Rezi for the kind words, and the statement is praised by reform-minded voters. Endorsement: 10 - Polis gives Rezi an enthusiastic endorsement, and commits to helping his campaign in any way he can, through barnstorming or through negotiating with potential Colorado endorsers. 22 hours ago, Hestia said: 1. Dobs will hold a rally in the suburbs outside of Atlanta, Georgia, where he will decry the populist tilt that the Republican party has taken and that suburbs like this one have flipped from Republican to Democratic. He claims out of all running that Ackerman isn't an angel like the Fox opinion headline suggests, but someone who supported Trump more vociferously than anyone else in the race. 2. Dobs claims that he is the 'most pro-Ukraine' candidate in the race after comments by Pringles in a press conference held in Richmond, Virginia. He knocks the other candidate for sharing the date when he will visit the country and says while he will surely visit Ukraine, he will want to keep that information under wraps for security reasons. 3. Dobs supporters and campaign officials work to sow doubt about Ackerman in the state of Georgia, hoping to erode his status as frontrunner. Endorsement Request: Gov. Larry Hogan (R-MD) 1. 1 - The rally is swarmed by Trump supporters from rural Georgia who harass both Dobs, and his supporters. To make matters worse, the chaos quickly descends into a riot leaving some in the hospital. No one knows who instigated it, but a photo of Dobs swatting at a hostile group of Trump supporters goes viral, meaning he’ll be facing the majority of heat for this tragedy. 2. 3 - The date of the visit was seen by most as an example of hyperbole, and they criticize Dobs for apparent pedantry, and some view this as an attempt to steal Pringles thunder 3. 8 - The skullduggery works splendidly, and many Georgians are convinced that Ackerman secretly supports Trump’s stolen election narrative Endorsement: 6 - Hogan appears with Dobs at your next rally, but in ocean blue Maryland, it remains to be seen how much of an impact this will have. 13 hours ago, The Blood said: 1. Sean will be interviewed by Tucker Carlson, using this opportunity to slam Tucker and appeal to his audience. "Tucker, I want the hardworking Americans who are watching at home to see you for what you are. Because the truth is, you aren't like the rest of us, getting by paycheck-to-paycheck and struggling to build a future for your family. No, you're a millionaire whose only worry is how you can get richer. That's why you want your audience to worry more about a fraction of a percent of the population, transgender people, than on the wealth gap and taxing people like you! That's why, for all the time you spend complaining about George Soros, we never hear you talking about the dark money on the right, which comes from your handlers like Charles Koch and Rupert Murdoch! And that's why, for all your talk about RINOs, we have verified text messages from you saying that you passionately hate Donald Trump! You are a liar and a fraud, Tucker, and I'm speaking for my fellow working-class Americans to say that we are tired of fake news bullshit from you!" 2. With all of the recent talk about Ukraine in the field, Sean will be struck with a bold idea to win the war while campaigning in a Philadelphia pub. Perhaps a little too tipsy to be making policy proposals, Sean will pledge to "deck Putin" as President, sending his "wimpy ass to the floor" to secure a Ukrainian victory in the overseas conflict. 3. Seeking to gain an edge in the race with bold campaign decisions, Sean will let his cats take over the trail for a day. Campaigning throughout Ohio, Persephone and Hades will be lured in front of crowds with catnip, playing in a cat tower on stage as an inspiring pitch to voters. Endorsement Request: Danny DeVito. 1. 7 - The interview works, and some of Tuckers viewers, while still conservative, are more open to listen to someone left of center after it airs. 2. 6 - Ukrainian voters, and Hawks appreciate the dedication. The UFC even releases a fiction tale of the tape for the fight, giving the Sean campaign a boost among MMA fans 3. 5 - The stunt is adorable, but Hades fails to cogently explain the candidate’s tax plan. Endorsement: 7 - DeVito entertains the crowd at Sean’s next rally 10 hours ago, Cal said: Campaign event 1 — emulating the best ”Mr. President…” the agent trailed off, looking towards the group of kindergarten children that ConservativeElector2 was reading to. “A second Doblet has hit the World Trade Center.” ConservativeElector2 kept his calm, nodded to the agent, and finished out the children’s story without causing any kind of fuss. *booming, commercial advertisement voice* THIS is exactly the kind of demeanor you want in a future President of the United States. Our nation deserves someone that can make our children feel safe while planning to take decisive action against all of those who oppose us, both domestically and overseas. ConservativeElector2 can do everything Bush did, and more. He can be the man to unite us together and lead us through these troubled times together and with a national identity that is unified in its March towards progress for each and every god-fearing American. Campaign event 2 — the campaign manager Robert simply could not believe it. This was IT. This was supposed to his one way ticket out of this horrendous, communist campaign and instead he’d only causes for his own people to rally around “ConservativeElector2”. But that wouldn’t do again, he needs to do something unequivocally illegal to get himself fired from the campaign without being fired into from the constitutionally mandated firing squad. That’s why Robert has organized a meet and greet exclusively with currently un-apprehended criminals to appear on a show where Christian believes they are just normal folks. This casual connection should create enough for CE2 to be suspected of some level of conspiracy or cooperation with these felons. After all, surely this couldn’t backfire on Robert in any way and actually turn out okay for the CE2 campaign, right? Campaign Event 3 — CE2 and Jvikings storm across Texas, pushing hard for the Trump vote without outright saying his actions were acceptable. 1. 1 - The ad was going well until Robert, the dumb bastard - decided to edit footage of the second plane hitting the tower to make it look like the plane was actually your opponent Pringles. Understandably you’ve been condemned by many of the victims’ families. 2. 7 - The meeting… goes well? One of the criminals is so moves by Christian’s campaign message that he falls to his knees, and renounces his sinful ways. This turn of events helps offset the discomfort most Americans have with their next President breaking bread with convicts 3. 8 - Trump voters are going loco for Ackerman, and J is very appealing to Libertarian voters. Just be mindful that the Trump brand is toxic to many moderates. Endorsement: 4 - Hochul hates Rezi with a burning passion, but she’s just not ready to endorse across the aisle. (Background Check Rolls will be revealed tonight during the turn 2 analysis) 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVProgressive Posted April 11, 2023 Author Share Posted April 11, 2023 DHNN Turn 2 Election Analysis Another week full of political drama. We've got people offering up their family jewels for Ukraine, bipartisan consesus on electoral reform, and some truly bizarre decisions. My co-host, and are just about to take you on a tour of the last month's political happenings, but first, let's take a look at the headlines. (Barb: 26) The Hill: After Rejecting Bernie Sanders Twice, Is America Ready to Elect an Open Socialist? (Mish: 10) The New York Times: ADL Reveals 'Treasure-Trove' of Anti-Israel Rants Committed by Mishfox on Niche Internet Forum (Pringles: 68) ABC: Zelensky Forgives Pringles, 'I Thought It Was Funny' (Rezi: 48) Teen Vogue: Top 5 Political Food Scandals of the 21st Century; #3 Rezi Caught Dipping Wings In Blue Cheese (Dobs: 19) The Federalist: The Betrayal of Samuel Alito by Anti-Trump Republicans (Sean: 56) Vox: What Sean F. Kennedy's Past Legal Troubles Can Tell Us About The Failed War On Drugs (Christian: 94) Breitbart: Chris Ackerman Is The Only Candidate Willing To Stand Up To Woke Democrats, and Wimpy Republicans Not a good news week, except for 'Christ' Ackerman, of course, who- Patine: I would prefer if you didn't besmirch the name of our Lord, and Savior by comparing him to a Trump sycophant. Sure thing, Pat. As I was saying, Ackerman has solidified his hold over the hard-right faction of the GOP, though truly bizarre, and distasteful ad has limited his weekly growth, especially with moderates, and anti-terrorism voters. Someone who has had a truly great week is his competitor, Pringles, who's knitting together a coalition of compassionate conservatives, moderates, and war hawks... Now who does that remind you of? Pat: The man who unleashed an illegal, and nearly genocidal war on Iraq because of a lust for oil. I was actually thinking of Reagan, but Bush works too. Speaking of Reagan - Reagan04 this time, not Ron - he's had a very troubled week. There have been some bright spots, like an endorsement from Larry Hogan, and a good mudslinging campaign in Georgia, but overall he's faced sharp criticism from his right, from the Federalist Society condemning him for his prior statements critical of Justice Samuel Alito, to the recent Atlanta riot which many are blaming on his campaign. Pat: I dislike Dobs with a passion, but I do think its inappropriate to blame him for a rally started primarily by Trump supporters, and overzealous police forces. I agree, minus the bit about overzealous police. Sean had a good week, nothing spectacular, but at least he didn't mess anything up. He's building quite the interesting coalition, he'll be competing with his fellow Democrats for left-wing voters, but he'll also be competing with Ackerman for populists, and with Pringles for hawks, and the recent Vox article discussing Sean's past experiences with the legal system as it pertains to recreation marijuana use has helped him gain ground with voters who support criminal justice reform. It'll be tough to keep such a diverse coalition united, but if he succeeds he'd be solidifying himself as the most likely left-wing candidate to enter the second round. Pat: I'm confused as to how such a coalition is even possible, especially when one of the few good things Trump did as President was tone down America's rampant imperialism. Not enough mind you, but it was something. Most Americans don't care about foreign policy, and when they do, most of the time they support intervention. Regardless... Barb had a really mixed week, high-profile speeches, big ticket endorsements, and yet also a viral video of his laying into an average voter. On the whole a positive week, but one thing that probably won't impact the polls, but I still want to touch on, is his call for bipartisan support for Ranked Choice Voting. Now, Pringles, and Rezi seem to be getting the majority of the good press from this deal, but Barb was the one to call for it first, and I think we'd do well to acknowledge that fact, especially as it seems more, and more likely that RCV will be implemented in more, and more states, and perhaps even at the Federal Level. It won't have an impact on this election, but that's something that could really change the political landscape a few years down the line. Pat: I actually agree, and I hope that America finally ditches the antiquated FTPT system. We have an update on Mishfox's current anti-Semitism scandal - despite claiming innocence the ADL has recently uncovered numerous anti-Israel screeds that Mishfox has previously posted on a niche internet political forum, where he accused Israel of geocoding the Palestinians, and being an apartheid state. To back this up he cited numerous out of date citations created by biased sources. However despite this, he's been given a warm welcoming by the people of Burbank, who chanted his name at his largest rally of the year this turn. What does this say about out country? Pat: It says that people are finally waking up to the lie that Anti-Zionism is Anti-Semitism, and that the J- I'll need to stop you right there before we get into anymore hot water - my good graces with the JDL can only take us so far. Now, last, and certainly not least entertaining, we've yet to talk about The Gregarious Gaffer himself. He's doubled down on his Anti-Hochul rhetoric, and is openly calling for meth, of all things, to be legalized! It's like he's running as a joke, but it's real! Or at least, Jared Polis seems to think so! He's quickly become one of Rezi's biggest supporters, and has helped swing Colorado, and left-libertarians into his corner hard. It remains to be seen if this will offset the fact that he has both his feet firmly in his mouth. Pat: Rezi... Rezi... Is an open, and avowed enemy of justice for all, an enemy of accountability of Government, an enemy of the rule of law, an enemy of opposition to ALL abuses, atrocities, and crimes of state by ANY Government, an enemy of you Republic, Constitution, nation, and the principles it was founded- We'll be back next week, here's Liz with the polls. Patine: And yes, and extremist, because of this, and as such he should be- I'll try to get him to calm down before then... CE2: 20.8% Pringles: 19% Sean: 16.5% Dobs: 4.5% Barb: 5.5% Mish: 2.5% Rezi: 1.2% Undecided: 30% Still early in the campaign, so anything can happen. The CPD has scheduled 12st round debates for April, June, and August, and a second round debate in October. The first round will be held in late August, and the second round will stretch from September to November. Which is to say, two more turns until the next debate, six more until the first round election, and nine until the election is over. I have a plan to really spice up how debates are handles, which I'll reveal when we get there, and one I think you'll all enjoy. 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean F Kennedy Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 1. Barb will campaign in Boston emphasizing his support for a more progressive tax system. “Many people reminisce about the 1950s and 1960s I mean look at the tax rates! Life was good” 2. Barb will travel all the way to Los Angeles where he will campaign with Mark Hamill. He will claim at a rally “If elected I will close Guantanamo bay, just to put the minds behind the sequel trilogy there!” Barb will go on to tell the audience how Disney ruined Luke’s character in the sequel trilogy. 3. Finally Barb will attempt to meet with Sean, Rezi and Mishfox to help unify the left wing voter bloc. endorsement: Bernie Sanders Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cenzonico Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 1 hour ago, WVProgressive said: Mish: 2.5% Fake news Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezi Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 Pringles and Governor Henry McMastuh hold back-to-back rallies on the same day, one in Greenville, SC and the other in Greenville, NC. Here, Pringles will emphasize his commitment to getting things done. "Lemme tell ya somethin'. There is nothin' in this world that I love more than seeing some good ol' bipartisanship to mend the bridges, rise above the rabble, and change this country for the better. We as a nation truly think that we're more divided than we actually are, because the media and social media heads want you to be angry at each other, want you to think that we can't work together. Why? Because it helps their bottom line. Now nobody blames 'em, they're just trying to make a profit, but we as a people have to come together and be above all that nonsense. And Congress has proved that it can be done. We had that bipartisan infrastructure bill, we had a bipartisan bill to protect our electoral process, we bolstered our manufacturing of semiconductor chips. And folks, I know that these bills weren't perfect, but good Republicans and Democrats came together and made 'em happen. Good men and women, like Senators Moore Capito and Murphy, I recall having a large part in these negotiations. If you elect me, my number one goal will be to pass as many bills like those as possible. I want us to heal the divide that's permeated through American society and get things done that we can all sit back and say "you know what, I think that just might help us." So we encourage y'all to come out in November and vote for Prongle, because above all, I will get things done." Pringles will release his first waves of ads across the Southeast, blanketing Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia. He uses this to play up his experience as a good ol' southern boy, featuring him at a barbeque in a small, rural neighborhood. Holding a Bible in one hand while flipping steaks in the other. Pringles will set up an interview with Chris Wallace. Endorsement Request: Lindsey Graham 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cenzonico Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 LaGuardia is a nice airport. In fact, a lot of people seem to recognize me. Hmmm.... 1. Mish will embrace the paparazzi and campaign inside the airport, he wouldn't be the first guy to try something like it. 2. Mish leaves and enters the vast world that is the borough of Queens. Lot to do here but Mish takes public transportation over to the neighbourhood of Jackson Heights where he holds a stump rally hoping to boost his credentials in an area ripe for the taking. 3. Immediately after the rally Mish will traverse the streets of Jackson Heights hoping to build on his momentous rally. Endorsement: Taylor Swift Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVProgressive Posted April 12, 2023 Author Share Posted April 12, 2023 @Cal @The Blood @Hestia @Pringles I need you events for turn three, when you can get them in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 13 minutes ago, WVProgressive said: @Cal @The Blood @Hestia @Pringles I need you events for turn three, when you can get them in. Mine will be in tonight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVProgressive Posted April 13, 2023 Author Share Posted April 13, 2023 19 hours ago, Cal said: Mine will be in tonight! Did you tonight as in last night, or tonight as in tonight? 😛 Also a reminder to @Hestia @Pringles and @The Blood to get your events in for turn 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Posted April 13, 2023 Share Posted April 13, 2023 A New Demographic "And you're certain that this will work?" "Positive, Mr. ConservativeElector2." "Don't call me that, comrade. You're in for the long haul now. Long live the revolution." "Uh... yes... exactly, Mr. SocialistElector2." And with that, it was official. CE2 recorded a video of himself lip-snycing to a BTS song and posted it on TikTok, trusting the algorithm to bring his face to younger voters and to convince them that his brand of compassionate conservatism is the right step forward for this country. Throwing Out Feelers The goal, lest it be forgotten, is not simply to win the presidency, but to change the trajectory of this nation as a whole. No longer shall the proletariat live in the shackles of their oppressors, not if Mr. Ackermann has anything to say about it. It seemed a crazy idea to craft a public image the way he has. That of a traditional conservative, a traditional member of the Republican Party. However, deep down inside he knew that the American public are not ready to elect the type of leader that they need and deserve. However, the transition must be one that is as seamless as possible. There needs to be some indication, to a careful observer, that CE2 is not just a traditional conservative. All the great flip-floppers like Tulsi Gabbard and Andrew Yang had parts of their platform that indicated a break from their party or expected political beliefs, and this difference, populist in nature, was enough to later become part of a grander justification for a shift in ideology. With that in mind, the decision is simple. CE2 will be appearing on the Tucker Carlson show, and discussing the automation of American jobs. He will take a decidedly pro-worker stance that we must protect American jobs from automation and from employers using technology to replace the average hard-working citizen. After all, it's a stance Tucker himself once took to the surprise of many. New York City CE2 hosts a non-traditional rally in New York City, inviting any politician from the state who would like to participate (outside of Rezi) to participate in "non-political debate" where the only rule on stage is that you have to debate something that is NOT political. Endorsement request: Hochul, again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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